Talk to people

Be open

# Be interested
In my experience, if you want to [[Build a diverse network]], make good friends and [[Talk to people]], asking a lot of questions and learning about the other person is key. Being interested makes one interesting. 

This was confirmed by research at Harvard ([source](https://hbr.org/2018/05/the-surprising-power-of-questions)), which shows that asking lots of questions in a conversation “unlocks learning and improves interpersonal bonding”. According to the research, open-ended follow-up questions are the gold standard: the show that you are listening to the other person and give them enough wiggle room to share as much as they feel comfortable.

I have also noticed many times that [[Be open]] is core to building bonds quickly.




Work in public

Build a diverse network

Seek discomfort

Be interested

# Be open
I have noticed that the more open I am in conversation the more the other people open up too. This leads to a strong bond developing much more quickly, and as a side benefit makes it easier to [[Be interested]].

This was confirmed by research at Harvard ([source](https://hbr.org/2018/05/the-surprising-power-of-questions)), which states that “transparency is an essential part of forging meaningful connections.” Opening up is so effective that researchers now leverage it to quickly build relationships between study participants by giving them question sheets with sensitive questions to ask each other.

Being open can be uncomfortable, which is another reason to [[Seek discomfort]]. [[Work in public]] is kind of a scaled version of this applied to my entire work life.




Have an aptitude for serendipity

Get more parts on the table

Invest in force multipliers

Sell your story

Personal brand as moat

# Build a diverse network

The more people I know, and the more diverse their perspectives are, the more parts I can theoretically access. ([[Get more parts on the table]]) This requires me to [[Be open]] to new perspectives and to [[Seek discomfort]].

The more I talk to my big diverse network ([[Talk to people]]) and [[Work in public]], the higher the chance that one of them serendipitously connects my ideas to something I had not considered before. ([[Have an aptitude for serendipity]])

It also makes it easier to [[Iterate as fast as possible]]. I can solicit good feedback quicker, which lets me speed up some of my iteration loops.

> _”This is not the wisdom of the crowd, but the wisdom of someone in the crowd. It’s not that the network itself is smart; it’s that the individuals get smarter because they’re connected to the network.” — Where good ideas come from_




My mental models

# Seek discomfort

If I am uncomfortable, by definition that means I am doing something new, something outside of my comfort zone. The chance for [[Get more parts on the table]] when doing something new is infinitely higher than when doing something I always do. 

In an ideal world this would be habitual: discomfort should be the default and (ironically) too much comfort would make me uncomfortable.

Some ways I try to do this are [[Be open]], [[Talk to people]] and [[Work in public]].




Lower your inhibitions

# Talk to people

Having lots of friends and a diverse audience ([[Build a diverse network]]) is great to [[Get more parts on the table]], but completely useless if I don't talk to them. By bouncing my thoughts off of them, they might be able to connect some of them to something I had not considered before.

The scaled version of this is [[Work in public]]. That makes it possible for my audience to serendipitously stumble upon my thoughts without me having to do an active action. ([[Have an aptitude for serendipity]])

To build meaningful connections, it is important [[Be interested]] and [[Be open]].




About these notes

# Work in public

By sharing as much as possible publicly and being transparent ([[Be open]]), I invite serendipity to help me. ([[Have an aptitude for serendipity]]) Since I [[Build a diverse network]], whenever I [[Talk to people]] the chance is high that one of them connects my ideas to something I had not considered before.

This is a big force multiplier and a core part of how I want to work. ([[Invest in force multipliers]])




@mxstbr's working notes

Be open

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What do you think?